The vast array of disastrous impacts that family members (especially non-offending partners) face are extremely traumatising. The impacts on their mental and physical health alone have led to suicide. Instead of sympathy and support, they get shamed and shunned. It is important to treat NOP’s with kindness and compassion. For further information you can read the;
– Blogs
– Research Papers
– BBC Radio Oxford & BBC Woman’s Hour Interviews with Survivors
Impacts from ‘the knock’ (with thanks to Sexual Offences, Crime and Misconduct Research Unit, Department of Psychology, School of Social Sciences, Nottingham Trent University and Applied Criminology and Policing Centre, University of Huddersfield, for some of this research.)
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Police bursting into your home, rifling through your possessions, arresting and taking away your partner and property, all whilst your children are there.
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Extreme feelings of shock and disbelief, bewilderment, confusion, nausea, terror, betrayal, disgust and shame. Followed by continual retraumatising after-effects, have led many family members to have severe PTSD to such high levels that it impacts their immune system functioning.
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Neighbours watching the removal of devices and the arrest of a partner.
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Further trauma from dealing with Social Services. NOP’s are often treated with suspicion especially when they choose to stay in the relationship.
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Ostracisation from the wider family network. Family members assuming the arrested partner is a paedophile and refuse to accept other explanations such as porn addiction.
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The partner who has been arrested can be falsely accused of child abuse of their own children. Peoples’ initial ‘fear’ reactions can cause a myriad of problems. The innocent wife/husband can be falsely accused of “knowing” and being involved.
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The sudden removal of the loving father from the family home is retraumatising for the non-offending partner and the children. The offender must move out and is often banned from seeing their children without any evidence. “If in doubt, chuck him out” approach from the state. Leaving children suddenly separated from one parent and not getting to see them even in a public supervised setting. Other families have to sit in cars in McDonald’s car park for their weekly visit to see their kids.
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Many partners have to leave their employment. Typically this is due to lack of help with child-care and overwhelming levels of stress and trauma.
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Many families have to move due to stigma-baiting. Causing further stress and trauma. This is often made worse by media reports, with the family address being released to the public, even when children are living in the house. On-going cases of vigilantism is rife.
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The family suffer colossal financial losses. Unemployment or loss of business for both partners, extra rent for the offending partner to live elsewhere, house moves, legal costs, therapy costs, extra child-care costs as the wider family network withdraws support.
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Total breakdown of all relationships. Lack of support further retraumatises.
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Innocent family members face life-long friends distancing themselves due to the stigma involved. NOP’s are especially treated as ‘guilty by association’, especially if they stay in the relationship.
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The time to sentencing can take a long time (up to 4- 5 years in some cases). NOP’s are continuously retraumatised by the uncertainty of the legal process, lack of information and a lack of overall closure.